FuguBowl
by Eric March on November 19, 2008 at 10:54 am
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(1 votes, average: 2.00 out of 5)
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App Name: FuguBowl
Version: 1.0
Developer: Technicat LLC
Category: Sports Games
Oh no. Not again.
Okay. I let FuguTilt slide because it wasn’t terrible, it just wasn’t much of a game — more like an odd, really simple tech demo for the Unity 3D engine. Then came FuguMaze — arguably an even simpler tech demo maze thing and yet it ran like a beached whale, to say nothing of its other shortcomings. That one earned Technicat their first entry in the Hall of FAIL. It was just that bad. You’ll understand then when I say that my stomach constricted when I saw a third offering from Technicat turn up. Part of me wanted to give it an automatic fail — but no. I’m fair, damnit. Mean, but fair. That meant I had to download it and play it. Some small part of me — one that’s hiding in fear from all the abuse — hopes that maybe, just maybe Technicat can redeem themselves with this one.
So, FuguBowl, then. Does it suck? Surprisingly, not so much — at least, not by the yardstick of what Technicat has inflicted on the world so far. It actually runs at a decent speed — much more like FuguTilt’s performance despite having more polygons to deal with, which just makes FuguMaze’s performance issues even more baffling. Even the control is more responsive, such as it is.
But don’t mistake “not as bad” for “good.” While it may be the best “game” they have released so far, that’s only by comparison to their other two titles. It is still a long way from earning any superlatives. This is only a bowling game in the academic sense: There is a ball (a puffer fish ball, what else?), and there are pins (textured with Technicat’s own logo), and there’s a lane, also textured with the same logo, but stretched far beyond the realm of legibility to run the length of the lane. Oh, and there’s water, too. Did I mention you’re bowling on a one-lane alley in the middle of the ocean? Well you’re bowling on a one-lane alley in the middle of the ocean.
The ocean sound is nice, at least. There’s no ball rolling down a laneway noise, or any noises when you knock down the pins — which, incidentally, are shaped like medication capsules. There are noises made by a crowd of children when you gutter, hit a few pins, or bowl a strike — cheering or disappointment, whichever suits the occasion.
I mentioned strikes and gutters, but there isn’t really any sort of game here. There is no score keeping, and those two bowling concepts are the only ones it understands. If you knock a few pins down you do get a second shot for a spare, but it doesn’t make any difference. Gutters don’t matter, either — nor do strikes for that matter: There are no frames to play. Roll ball, knock pins, reset. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Control is erratic too. Responsive, yes, but you’re supposed to swipe the ball to send it rolling — and continue to swipe at it while it rolls to control its direction. Unfortunately, while it may change direction as you swipe, it may or may not completely ignore your preferred trajectory, so while you have some modicum of control over the ball’s speed and direction, it is only to the degree that the ball wants to comply with you.
As a game, it is a failure; Technicat still don’t seem to have wrapped their heads around the concepts of competition and scoring yet. As a tech demo for the Unity engine, it’s not all that bad. There is far better that could be done to showcase Unity’s capabilites, but Technicat aren’t likely to be the ones to do it. Perhaps, then, they can take comfort in the fact that this is the first app they’ve written that I’m actually going to give more than one star to. Yes, that’s right: I’m giving this one two stars. Let’s just hope it doesn’t go to their heads.
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Posted in Games: Sports
